I’m a pit good things fall into.
*Potential spoilers ahead*
Having debuted in 2014, this animated tragicomedy follows the life of washed up Hollywoo (not Hollywood) actor BoJack Horseman (Will Arnett) as he combats himself through alcoholism, depression and other heartbreaking plot devices Peachy, right? Though the show is off to a slow start, the rest of the seasons (Season 6’s first half premiered on Oct. 25, 2019) are artfully spun into a web of no-bullshit storytelling that if it weren’t for the wacky animal characters (Horseman himself is, well, a horse) you’d forget it was an animated series at all.
Horseman as the protagonist has most of the iconic lines that are usually quoted in BuzzFeed articles, of course, but his best friend/ghost writer Diane Nguyen arguably portrays how many of us who battle with depression actually feel.
Diane is introduced as a writer and ends up working for BoJack when she begins to write his memoir. Throughout the series, we see layers of her peel back to reveal that she is bottom-line, just like her self-deprecating, depressed equine-friend. Ironically, or perhaps in line with her character traits, she marries Mr. Peanutbutter, the yellow Lab who is a complete reflection of the breed he is – always, a 100% of the time, happy (again, ironically, Mr. Peanutbutter goes on to be the “face of depression” in Season 6 basically because it’s ‘trendy.’)
Spoiler – Diane ends up divorcing Mr. Peanutbutter but still happiness eludes her. She constantly thinks of herself as a failure as a writer, and is basically aimless throughout her life. The reason Diane, and not BoJack, resonates with me so is because the show’s writers don’t bullshit or romanticize what it’s like to be depressed, unlike many other shows out there.
Here are a few quotes Diane says throughout the series that truly show what it’s like to live with depression. Whereas Mr. Peanutbutter is awarded for “showing a few tears despite being a man” – er, dog – Diane’s quips and constant view that it’s her against the world encapsulate what it feels to simply not find joy.
1.
When she asked herself “Am I happy?” A loaded question many of us cannot answer.
2.
Here, Diane converses with Todd (Aaron Paul), BoJack’s couch surfing, wholesome friend, about marriage. But it can apply to anything we want to hold onto in life that we think is good for us.
3.
Mr. Peanutbutter built an extravagant house and room for Diane, who was his then-wife. Diane doesn’t like the room, and here she expresses how baffled she is that despite having the elements to a ‘perfect life’, she still cannot be happy. She has a good husband, a great home and overall great life. She insists she is a “pit” where good things fall into because of the emptiness she feels.
4.
“Diane: You know sometimes I feel like our marriage is like a magic eye poster.
Mr. Peanutbutter: I love those things
Diane: I know. And it’s messy. And at first glance it doesn’t seem to make any sense. And it’s hard to figure out. But sometimes if you squint at it just right everything lines up and it’s the most perfect…beautiful amazing thing.
Mr. Peanutbutter: Yeah. I know what you mean
Diane: But…I’m so tired of squinting.”
Arguably one of the most heart-breaking lines in the show, this quote hit home. For many who fight with depression, there are only certain limited elements that perhaps will let us see the “bright side.” There are moments where we glance upon something that brings us utter joy, only to be catapulted back to the dark place when you realize it’s been so long since you’ve actually felt joy, and become mad at yourself for being “broken” or as Diane says, “Busted.”
5.
Now that more people have become sensitive to those with mental illness in this age, we don’t hear phrases like “chin up,” or “just focus on the bright side” as often whenever someone confides their depressive feelings. Those who suffer from mental illness oftentimes try to convince themselves that if they just “work harder” and “stop being so negative” it will all get better. It often doesn’t work that way (though working towards a goal with your therapist is a great way to start the journey.)
6.
I think this one is self-explanatory. And while most of us feel this way at least once in our lives, its constant for those with mental illness, especially those with anxiety.
7.
And finally, “I am a rudderless burning large garbage barge.” I think this sums up most of millennials at the moment, tbh.
Bonus:
You might be thinking, “Holy shit, why would I watch such a f*cking depressing show?” And honestly, I have no argument for that. It’s not for everybody if you’re not in the right mental space. But it does paint struggles and every day f*cked up aspects of life that make it a brilliant show with expert writing. Season 6 is the show’s final season, with the rest of the episodes airing on Netflix in January 2020.
Spoiler for Season 6:
The first half that premiered this fall does show a bit of redemption of some characters, or at least on a path to general not-unhappiness. This last one, Diane has just started dating this wonderful buffalo Guy (literally named Guy) (voiced by Lakeith Stanfield), but she ends up breaking up with him because she has decided that she doesn’t want to make the same mistake she did with Mr. Peanutbutter, where she makes her significant other her savior. (Spoiler again: Diane and Guy do get back together.)
Diane is constantly trying to outrun her self-destructive tendencies and it seems here she wanted to be ahead of herself in potentially destroying something good she had. She made me realize just because you aren’t a hundred percent in a good mental health space doesn’t mean you should deny yourself things – or people – that make you happy.
The debate continues on whether Diane is a likeable character, as she tends to do hypocritical things, run away from her problems while also trying to help every single human being on Earth. Likeable character or not, many of her words through the series are relatable and that’s perhaps what makes her a complicated character after all.
Overall a great show with an array of talented writers, BoJack Horseman continues to weave the messiness of life with comedic tidbits keeping it all together.
If you believe you suffer from mental illness, feel free to reach out for help at any time with friends, loved ones and/or a mental health professional.
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